I recently went back to the realm of the gainfully employed after not working for almost 5 years. Let me tell you, having that big of a employment gap on my resume was scary! Initially my plan was to start a Masters program and be finished by the time my Emme doll started school. However, money was getting tight and let's be honest, military life is becoming awfully nerve wrecking and unpredictable with all these budget cuts. So I feel lucky to have gotten a job with the state...good benefits, flexible, and it's helping children and families-something I'm passionate about. I also got assigned my own office (this is a first for me and magically I feel like a grown up), a business cell (too bad it's an IPhone and not an Android), and a bulky laptop/tablet thingy.
So here's the kicker, we have to go out of town for training. Granted, it's only a few hours drive away and I will come back this weekend...I am realizing that this is the beginning of three months of living out of my suitcase, of leaving my kiddos and missing their silly evening antics, and of giving up control over my household to my husband. This is going to be the onset of a few months of chaos for my family. Emme's never been in day care before, never even been away from me for more than a couple of hours. Davin's never had to follow ALL of daddy's rules because I'm always there to soften the blow (metaphorically). And Dustin's never had to play full time daddy and full time mommy. What a switching of roles. We are so used to saying goodbye to daddy because he deploys and goes TDY often. This is all new to us and I find myself worrying and feeling emotional over having to leave in just an hour or so.
A hotel room to myself should feel like a mini vacation from the demands of "mommy, mommy, mommy", but now it just feels like a dreaded process of goodbyes and trying to stop myself from crying. Good Gracious what is wrong with me?!
Always Amy
Sunday, January 5, 2014
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